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Ditch Unhealthy Mind Games

By Donna Blevins, PhD

Some people think they never play mind games, but they clearly

do, especially in today’s socio-economic environment brought on

by a pandemic.

Some are so accustomed to head games that they fail to recognize when they are taking place. That is just how their family

or distanced friends act and behave. They found a “match” for their weirdness.

Congratulate yourself. Your partner already knows the rules of your mind games, and willingly plays along.

Even so, mind games can be tiresome, and when played from that

unaware, primitive part of our brain, they are destructive. They

obscure our true intentions, pull us farther from love, and distract

us from getting things done.

Consider shifting your mindset and having fewer unhealthy mind

games. Here’s how.

Increase Awareness

One way to have fewer mind games is to increase awareness of

when they occur.

Are you tired of people and their tedious mind games? Do social dynamics wear you out because you can see through everyone's


There are so many games that people play. Some are for sport; some are designed to dominate a situation; and some, believe it or

not, are just a way to relieve boredom.

Pause Before You Act

Call it personal research. Paying attention to how you emotionally

react in response to what someone else may be saying or doing at

any given time, begins to open your window of opportunity to

respond rather than react.

Someone is currently making you feel irritated. You might be

getting nervous in their presence.

Perhaps you feel pressured into doing something that you don't

want to do because of their influence?

How can you stop it, and stop playing their games? Elect not to


Seek Validation

Some people use emotional control tactics to use social andinterpersonal pressure on others. If you don't like how this makes

you feel, you are not alone.

In talking with others, you come to learn that they also noticed the same sort of emotional games being played that you noticed, and they too felt annoyed by them.

“It’s not just you,” your friend assures you. This is what’s known as emotional validation and feels good.

Begin to Recognize Your When

Over my lifetime, I’ve made it my mission to understand the brain,

your biological supercomputer. In the process, I discovered that

we do have the ability to reprogram our mind by the way we think

and the words we choose.

Who would have imagined that we came with the birthright of

being a self-programmer!

The whole key to being the game master of our mind is to

recognize when we react and install a pause button.

© Donna Blevins and permission to print


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